Unspoken

This is a poem I wrote about 3 years ago, I was reminded by it via a post my boyfriend wrote on Facebook recently so I thought I'd share it with you. Enjoy.

xxx

They say some things are better left unsaid,
but deeds done never leave words unspoken,
for betrayal leaves a good heart brocken.
Am saddened by the things i can't tell you;

I tell you everything because to you i want to be true.

Some say i have trust issues but i am just doing to you
what i would like you to do to me.
You see hiding is like lying;
it's not about protecting the other person but yourself!
the heart starts to wonder when it's source of love feeds off uncertainty,
for doubt is a ground for roots that don't grow
so pain makes the process go slow.

Joy is the foundation of love and they say love bares all things
but how can this prove to be love if we don't bare all things
because if we don't bare all things, then this can't be love.
Communication is the key
but blame changes the locks
so what is the door to be?

I tell you, nothing is better left unsaid
for many are destroyed by that which is unknown.

                                                                                       
                                                                                                     Siphesihle Sihlayi

The power lies in our choices



These words reminded me of my high school Afrikaans teacher.

 One of my high school teacher said something that i will never forget as she stood in front of our class crying, because we never really listened to her and made it hard for her to teach. She said the reason she always came back to our class even though she had said she will never teach us again is because she loved being a teacher and we were not that important that we can change that.

She went on to say alot of other things that everyone in class was actually quiet, we were actually listening to her for once. She then went on to say; "you know, we have choices in life nd how we choose to feel can never be blamed on anyone but yourself" she continued with a story as an example of what she meant,

"if you were to take a bucket of water and pour it on me right now, I would be angry and maybe beat you up for that. So in a sence I'd say you made me angry, but in actual truth you made me wet, I just chose to be angry about it and instead of drying myself, I chose to beat you up."
Joyce Meyer once said, our emotions are under our authority, we are in control of them and not the other way around.
There also is anothre saying that that goes "no one can hurt you without your permission" Well, just thought I'd share in this secret.

XOXO

God's got this



Fear? What's that?... But I got God.



My biggest fear is living a life far less then the one Christ died for me to have. My biggest desire is to accomplish all that God has planned for me. The greatest news however is that I was never given a spirit of fear but of love, power or sound mind. Hence I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

I mean if God called me out for it, I can get it, I just need to believe and have faith, act it all out and just be. I love Jesus! So fear is just a tiny cat in a huge shadow pretending to be a lion, we just take courage by putting the lights on :) seems hard? Not at all right?! God's got this! You got God?



Something has got to give

 



Our weaknesses should never be the reason we back down

   On one Sunday I was walking to church with my son in my arms. The walk took plus minus 25 minutes and along the way I was praying to God for a lift, it was hot and my baby was heavy, I was tired!

 Answering my prayers, God sent some one to give us a lift and guess what? I didn't take it! I was like, no thanks. Now this got me thinking, how many times we ask God for things but when He actually gives them to us, we are like no thanks.


We fear taking on new paths, we get comfortable with our current situations, we feel we not ready all of a sudden or we just not willing to put in some effort or make certain sacrifices. It's pretty sad huh? And quiet stupid if you look at it in the way of my Sunday story. But does this label us as people who don't know what they want? Because some look at us like that when we actually want to get to the other side but are afraid to cross the bridge or jump! Sweety how else are you gonna get there?

Truth is everything in this life has a principle, and only those principles get you there, just like how only Jesus is the way to the father "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except trough me" - John 14:6 So next time we ask for something, make sure you prepared to do what it takes to get it. Love and passion always help, because when you really have a passion for something and love it whole heartedly then you will break through the toughest wall, just to get it.

Jesus died on the cross to pursue us, remember? Well with that being said.

Take care

Daddy please come home

Today it's my dad's birthday and i don't know where he is. He left home a month ago and left all his stuff behind, even his cellphone. I just hope he has an amazing day and that where ever he is, he knows that we love him very much. I miss it when he laughs, and share jokes with me, I miss it when he plays with my son, how he always understands and his warm huggs. I'm scared he might never come back and that i might end up being angry at him for leaving us like that, i think it was pretty selfish. Or I wonder what if we wronged him? Or what if there is some one else? What if he is not doing this of his own accord? How can I help him? Maybe he is sick or he just doesn't love us anymore, or perhaps the devil is using this to destroy our family. Buut, I pass it all to God because He knows whats going on and He is on our side, fighting for us. and because my God loves us, this too shall pass and I know He will use it for the better because we love him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY, YOUR THE BEST!!!

March 10

Today i made an innocent mistake, yet my head was almost bitten off at the office! i was so hurt, so angry and just couldn't understand why no one understood that it could of happened to just anyone. It reminfds me of last night, my mom shouted at me so bad that i was so sure her life would be better off without me. It's amazing how one can make you feel so small, so unworthy, so stupid or something you just know your not! But in this i simply realised that when we are angry, we say pretty nasty things and hardly care about other people's feelings, after all why should others be happy if we are not? After we cool off, we then sort of wish we didn't say or do what we did. The bible teaches us to be slow to anger, quick to listen but with us it's just the other way around. Now the best way we learn things is when we encounter them, we get a feel of how a certain dish we cook for others actually tastes, and then it's up to us to change or not. Or atleast that's how it happens to me, i mean i have learnt how it feels to treat others a certain way through people treatig me the same way. So can we say that how others treat us affects the way we treat others? Or is it how we treat others that determines how they treat us? Either way, we can never be responsible for other poeples ways be it in action or speach but we are responsible for ours. Most things are easier said then done, that's if they can be done at all. But as much as i hate to admit, it's true that we are in control of our lifes, yes we dont know what tommorow holds, let alone the next minute but we can control ourselves, our emotions and how we react to certain things. Maybe am just writting but everything we do affects those around us and it's the little things that hurt or effect us the most. Next time before you react in anger, think, listen and think again. Words last a life time and once said can never be taken back, and people never forget how you made them feel.



Hillary Clinton

“Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it. Otherwise, let it roll right off you.”



Love Yourself

 Yes the past is no ones friend because the bad memories ruin out present and the good ones contantly take us back and leave us with questions such as WHAT IF? Either way, the past is what we wish could just fade away but that's no reason for us to hate the experiences it brought.
The past is part of who we are, the experiences are the blocks that where used to build our character and as much as we don't like how they made us feel, they are the very reason we are who we are.

I hated my past experiences, each time I thought about them , they stole a little bit of joy at a time. I prayed for them to go away but they didn't, they couldn't, they were just not meant to be forgotten! What did I do?
Yip! I made peace with them and to do that I had to forgive, forgive myself and the bad choices, as well as those who hurt me. It took time hey, but I did it!

I then realised that this person I have become is a result of those experiences, they humbled me and gave me a positive attitude. They made me brave and showed me my true strength, they showed me my weakness and who I can rely on. I learnt so many lessons that i can teach the world for a life time. I now embrace those experiences because I now know they are a part of who I am, and if I hate them then I hate a part of me, and if I hate a part of me, who will love me fully? Who will love all of me?

Andrea said it and I totally agree! In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. 

Proverbial Girl (Proverbs 31)

1. What you are actually worth is more valuable than anything on earth, and that's priceless. 2. Your results are inaccurate if you measure yourself with the wrong thing. 3. Can God trust you? Are you helping or hurting others. 4. Be a five star friend, you know the kind of friend you would like to have. 5. Go the distance to be soft and beautiful. How bad do you want the best out of you? 6. Be consistant and refuse to give up. 7. Bring life to others, and you can't bring to others what you don't have, so embrace the life that is in you and be willing to deliver that same empowering life to others.

I love you Jesus

My Sunday school teacher always told me about you and when I met you, you were all that I imagined and more! At first I fell in love with the stories I heard about you, they were full of love and wonders, power and mercy. It’s the stories that created a desire to be also called your own. It’s how your plans always worked out perfectly; you always give your people hope. Like how Samson relayed on you on his day of death and you came through or how you were true to Daniel in the lions den. You are great; no one can ever come close to be compared to you. When I personally got to see you, your presence alone was just overwhelming, your smile with so much compassion, it made me weak to my knees, your touch so gentle never knew that love could be this pure, and your eyes had so much grace that looking at them drew me to redemption. Jesus I am so in love with you, I can’t take my eyes off you and am constantly thinking about you, your words so sweet and everlastingly true. I can’t really boast about my love for you but I gladly talk to others about the love you have for me, I tell them you loved me so much that you died for me. And even though am unfaithful at times, you never give up on me, you never leave me, you are never unfaithful but true. You love me relentlessly. Knowing that I can trust you and that your love never fails brings me to my knees, worship fills my soul and my heart praises you with thanksgiving. Your knowledge of me amazes me, it’s too good. I love how you manage to make me smile no matter the mood. I love you so much and I know my actions my often fail to show, many a times I wonder how and why you love me so much. Jesus thank you for the joy I find in my sadness, for your strength my weakness reveals. Thank you for in trails and tribulations, the comfort and assurance in times of fear and doubt. You are my all in all and I give you my all. Jesus I love you, I love you with my all!

What we hide is a part of us we don't want others to see.

Hi there We all have a secret of some sort right? The real question though is; would you like others knowing about it or not? Why? See, it's the hidden things about us that truelly define us. Or atleast that's what i think. And hey, things are only hidden until they are found. Secrets can be kept a looong time but they can't survive forever,as I've told you before; they don't like being kept. XOXO

A little at a time

Hi there We learn things a little at a time just as Barney says, but before we know it we know them just too well. I'm thinking, the person i wished to be a long time ago is exactly who i am now, it took long though i almost gave up. Who we wish to be is who we really are, or atleast thats what i believe. And each day, a little at a time, we walk towards being who we we really are. So don't give up, try harder each day and keep in mind that you are always a step closer then you were the previous day. They say dely isn't denial, i mean that's why there is patience right? So be patience, a friend of mine used to have me remind him that; good things in life happen to those who have patience of the greatest length. I love you all and thats no secret, and hey, don't keep secrets that will help others grow or overcome. Yip! Sharing is caring.

Secrets

Hi there Now we all have secrets and for different reasons. Secrets ain't bad but it's the motive behind them that is, we sometimes have them in trying to protect ourselves or others, or we have them so that no one knows who we are. Mostly they are out of selfishness and keeping a secret is like locking yourself in a room with a monster and pretending not to see it because you think if you do that it wont hurt you. Buuut, without secrets i wouldnt be a Queen now would I? So hey, thanks. PS. Secrets don't enjoy being kept. Sshhh, i didnt tell you so